socialcapital | [ JACKSON HEART ]

Your research is... I can't say "bearing fruit", pteridophytes have spores, not seeds, but... it's paying off? Or rather, it's...

You're doing well.

He can't help it. He does laugh.

"Well, thank you. I wouldn't have called you out on the technical accuracy of 'bearing fruit' as an expression. Probably."

Probably. But I have no idea how much research you'd done.

Is any help I can offer you while I'm here, aside from providing a cup of coffee and this bit of conversation? It does honestly seem like you're doing well, aside from the bit of overwork any determined student inevitably faces.

He thinks about it.

"Unless you have a lot of easy ways to memorize a lot of rules about finance very fast, the conversation is helpful enough."

For that, I can only recommend re-contextualizing the examples you're given to be personal ones, rather than generic. If you can find situations that you are particularly passionate about, all the better.

My experience with bookkeeping extends only to keeping accounts for a single household. But there, when first learning what entries were to be recorded as "credits" and which "debits", I closely linked what a personal blow it was to record every utility cost and grocery trip. Linking those negative feelings with the negative sign was how I first remembered that they were "debits".

Jackson leans over and pats Satin's leg in a way that indicates Satin just said something very revealing again.

"I'll see if I have anything like that."

[Again!?]

Perhaps just... something as simple as your desire to pay back the "personal account" of your Family being a debit to the receiver, but a credit to the giver.

I'm aware that all of this is significantly more complex when dealing with corporate entities. This is not my area either.

"It's okay. This has helped."

Possibly more emotionally than practically. But we take our wins where we can.

I'm...

[Intellectually, he can acknowledge that emotional help has value here. He can even recognize that the comfort of a casual moment of shared feelings is far more impactful than advice given too late for this echo of the past to ever put to use.

But in his heart, he is suffering.]

I am glad to hear that.

"More importantly, is there anything I can do for you?"

Pardon?

"Well, you came all the way out here and made me coffee and we had a chat, but did you come by just to do that?"

Yes, I did.

Well, strictly speaking, I came here to check in on you and see how you were doing. The rest of my actions were of my own volition.

"Still, it's nice of you, you know? I'm not really in much a position to offer anything back but... I think I still have some cookies in the cupboard if you wanna share some or..."

I would not say no to such an offer.

Would you like me to get them, or would you prefer to do so yourself?

[There is a certain comfort and enjoyment to taking the role of the host, after all.]

"I can get them! I'll put them on my one out of place fancy big plate."

He puffs up a little like, look at me. I AM hosting a guest. Like a CHAMP.

[When was the last time Umbra did something like this? Surely there would have been someone who came to this small apartment before, wouldn't there...? If the fern was a housewarming gift, there's at least a chance.

(If not, it probably... would have been back before even those early days rehearsing alone, wouldn't it. Before the accountant, before the rock star. Two whole identities past.)]

In that case... [He nods.] I'll be in your care.

If there's anything comparing the various versions of this guy illuminates, it's that basically all of them were crushingly lonely in their own ways. Still, he seems happy enough to busy himself with putting some cookies (they are storebought cookies) on a plate and bringing them over.

"Ta-da~"

Thank you.

[He reaches over to take one, silently noting the flavour and brand for his personal internal list of 'things Umbra has displayed liking in the past'.]

Reversal of roles or not, this is a treat.

They're sandwich cookies, the type with icing in the middle and a little jam circle on the top. A classic.

"I think they'll go well with the coffee. It's like... an extremely budget tea party. With coffee instead of tea. Coffee party."

Most of my late night studying has had only the coffee. And far less company.

I'm not lacking in interactions through the day, either academically or professionally. But such casual moments are far rarer.

"I'm doing my whole thing online, so... I basically don't see anybody..."

Sudden career changes can make such things more difficult.

Do you at least go out for groceries? Or to see those other members of your Family?

"I went to the orientation... I usually do my grocery shopping at, like... night time."

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