socialcapital | [ JACKSON HEART ]

"... It didn't seem like a priority even if so. Is all."

Not compared to "survival", no.

"And botanical engineering was not a key skillset of either of my lifetimes, though I guess I have a lot of time to learn it."

Additionally, this opportunity fits well into my own plans. So I have no hesitation in taking advantage of it.

"... Botanical engineering... plans?"

No.

You've mentioned that the "you" of the outside world won't remember this, so I will choose to believe there's no harm in speaking of it plainly. Especially since my experiences here have only confirmed my suspicions.

In both your lifetimes, you have been very poorly served by agreements that have bound you. One into destitute servitude, and one into a gilded cage -- but a cage nonetheless, where you were obliged to work just as hard, with just as little rest.

And due to whatever combination of nature and personality that is inherently "you", once you are so bound, the only escapes you permit yourself are through fulfilling the terms in full, or by chance and circumstance beyond your control.

He blinks, thoughtfully.

"Um... I guess that is how it turned out in both lives, yeah..."

I don't know what the future will hold. But I know, right now, I would like more time with you.

[His hand drifts from Umbra's hair down to his shoulder -- to the place his teeth had marked during the Princess performance, though the marks themselves long since vanished.]

I've given a great deal of thought to how to ask for that. There are words, and roles, that we both have our reasons for avoiding. You're finally free to stretch your wings how you wish. No matter how appealing the idea of a second home might be, if entering it closes a door behind you, all you will see around you will be more bars.

So I have been thinking, instead, about how to make you a garden.

Jackson Firuz Totality Umbra Mahalenka goes on a face journey of feeling surprised, touched, emotional, and feeling intense cuteness aggression all at the same time.

"A garden..."

A place near to me that you can recognize as belonging to you, but that you can enter and leave as you wish. Like a gardener who plants berry bushes near their house to welcome migratory birds on their travels.

The original concept had been metaphorical, but I am beginning to suspect that a physical garden may work just as well.

"Well, I want to stay with you too... I guess you're not the type of person to be disappointed if it's not 'traditional' either. But are you really okay with... I guess... planning around the idea of me leaving?"

Of course I'm not. I dislike the thought of it intensely.

"... So if I did ask you to move in with me you'd say no? Or is it okay if I do it first?"

You've always been welcome to ask me that. And the part of me that is "Satin" knows well how I would answer, hesitations and all.

"Ah, but there's another part to think of..."

Several other parts. You've never met them as clearly as I've met yours, but they are just as much a part of me. Perhaps more so.

[He sighs.]

If anything, it would be more accurate to say that my Estorian life was subsumed into that greater whole before the last Mourning Cycle came to a close. All you've known since has just been... me.

"So asking you to move in with me in Estoria would result in my first-ever rejection... I see..."

He reaches up to pet Satin's hair.

Right now, it would result only in "I cannot answer you yet".

While that may also be a novel experience, they are not the same thing.

"I guess it depends on where we're going, huh. Well... I can become rich and famous wherever I go..."

Pet pet fluff pet.

"... You should teach me how you do the between-worlds teleport thing. Once you can do it again."

You mean, opening a gate?

It's less like teleporting, and more like an express way. Journeying from one side of a world to another might be no more than a minute or two, but from Earth to Ente Isla was closer to forty.

"The gate, yeah. I should be able to learn anything that can be taught, so as long as it's not an innate thing you're born knowing there's a pretty good chance I can do it too."

You would probably be more suited to the holy version than my own -- though it may be that the only difference between the two is the energy behind it.

Either way, I would gladly share it with you. That, and whatever else you would like.

"I just think being able to go back and forth might be pretty helpful. Practically and emotionally. Because it sounds like you've been worrying that I-- might feel trapped? Unintentionally?"

He gently squishes Satin's cheeks. Very very gentle. More of a face cup.

[He tilts his face into one of those hands.]

No. It's not that.

I have always been working to keep you from being trapped. Just as I have been careful to keep you from being placed in any situations you did not want to be in.

I'm a demon. Caring for you in a way that maintains your trust does not come naturally to me -- it's something I've chosen to do. And something I continue to work on.

"Well, I've noticed you're really careful with me... and I really do appreciate it. You're really sweet to me. It seems like a lot of work, though. I sometimes feel like I'm taking advantage."

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