socialcapital | [ JACKSON HEART ]

Inside the exhaustion and dread and despair is even thicker, but there's still a tiny spark of the excitement and passion from the other area even here.

Totality!!!! is here. He's at the absolute height of his fame, maybe 20 or 21 years old. His hair is longer. He has an earring. He is skinny like 'has a drug problem' skinny. He honestly might still be a little bit high. He smells like he's been drinking heavily because he's been drinking heavily.

But regardless of the state he must have been in before the door opened, this version of him still seems to have access to all his Blessings, and so physically, he's somehow in peak form despite all this.

Which is why he just sort of watches Satin curiously, without any sort of caution or concern that a stranger just walked into his dressing room.

"Did someone ask you to come here?"

Yes.

I'm a bit encouraged that the gentleman at the door seemed to take me for someone involved in health care. I'm not unskilled in that area, but most of my interactions in this capacity have been regarding custom drug formulations.

"Woooow, they usually wait until after the show for that. But usually they also go through uncle Ray and he wanted to know if I called you. Which I don't thiiiink I did?"

He's genuinely not 100% sure, because.

...

Well.

I'm afraid I don't know if you were the one who asked me to be here, either. And if you, personally, would prefer that I depart, I will do so.

"No no, you came all this way, wouldn't turning around and leaving make that a waste of time?"

No. I would still count it as seeing to your comfort.

Knowing what you want and what you don't want is important to me.

Totality pouts. It's not that he doesn't believe this, exactly, but a lot of people say a lot of things like this to him, because he is a rich famous celebrity.

"I'm saying it's fine if you stay now that you're here, mr. Mystery Medic."

As you wish.

May I ask what kind of performing you do?

"... You don't know?"

This is apparently enough of a novelty on top of everything else about Satin's arrival that it gets Totality's full attention. Like it is sort of visible on his face that he is now wondering if this new person is like. Perhaps an interesting mistake waiting to be made (smooth jazz playing in the background).

[There is no need for smooth jazz music!!]

I'm afraid... rock star? can encompass several disciplines, but I'm not personally familiar with the specifics of any of them.

He actually stands up so he can like. Not QUITE circle Satin like a shark. But certainly curiously observe him more closely.

"That's wild. Well, I'm the singer. I play the guitar. I write all the songs. I'm the front man, so I'm the public face. And I'm sooooo humble and down-to-earth about it."

[He certainly doesn't react like someone in the presence of a celebrity. Posture relaxed, gaze more clinical than appreciative, focus half on the conversation and half on his thoughts, with not even a single wide-eyed glance around Totality's dressing room.]

Vocal performance, manual dexterity, enough mental clarity to handle public relations...

It's no wonder you're this worn out.

This is less like catnip to him and more like a dangled feather toy. But his train of thought is interrupted when Satin just kind of calls him out.

"Am I worn out?"

Emotionally, yes.

Physically, it's masked, but also yes.

"So you're... what, a therapist?"

No. Just perceptive.

"Hah. Well! How do I fix it in the three hours before warmups then?"

You don't. You're already doing everything you can, aren't you? And the hopes and expectations of the people you'll perform for tonight, like every night, are as important to you as they are crushing. Those fleeting moments on stage are still something you love. It's everything before and the agonies of recovering after, of repeating that all again and again, that is at the root of your misery.

In this moment, I just want you to know that I see that. I see you. Just as I see that the people who should have been the first to protect you are the ones failing you the most.

[He sighs, taking a seat on whatever couch or loveseat there is to be found here.]

Though, as I did in another life, I ultimately stand by the solution of "legal experts or assassins".

You have three hours. Do you want to stay here?

"One sec."

He just reaches out and squishes Satin's cheeks with his palms. Hm. Okay. Not a hallucination. Interesting. Interesting.

Totality backs out of Satin's personal space but seems more curious than ever.

"Uh, not really, but I'm sort of on watch so I don't go out and cause problems on tour dates. I'm basically grounded."

[Sits patiently through the cheek squishing. Even tilts his face up into it.]

That won't stop me. The ceilings and walls here are more fragile than you think.

"I'm sorry??"

This building uses a beams-and-pillar structure for support, rather than load-bearing walls. And the upper ceiling here is hollow -- it's a common technique to allow ducts and electrical work to be accessible without being unsightly.

"I wasn't incredulous about building architecture, but, okay?"

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