socialcapital | [ JACKSON HEART ]

In general.

I would ease this time for you if I could. But it's a memory -- one that I was never part of. And you are more than that. You exist here, remembering, but you exist outside of it, too. And the "you" I share time with has already let that darkness go.

"... In the waking world we share it. Clearing it for him will clear it for me."

Yes. And I have his consent to do so.

I am asking if I may have yours.

"Out of pure academic interest, if I said I was so attached to the feeling of misery that I did not want it cleared, would you let it build up in him?"

If his consciousness was at the forefront of your body, no.

If yours was, and it was a choice you made while your mind was clear, I would abide by it. Though, for clarity: I would not refrain from attempting to mitigate the damage in other ways.

"Hmmm... fine, then. I don't think it will come up."

[His shoulders drop minutely, some small tension uncoiling.]

Thank you, Firuz.

He huffs.

"As previously established, the body is his now. I won't be around much to weigh in one way or the other. But it's not like I like feeling like this either."

Still.

[His hands curl around the cup, and he glances at the closed box with its arrow and its memories.]

It's one thing to share in something freely given. It's another to take what is not offered by force.

I don't want to treat you that way.

He huffs.

"Of course. That's the kind of guy you are."

With you, yes.

It may have been closer to normal for my time in Estoria, but only a small few of those in my other life would receive such consideration.

"And I get grandfathered in due to special identity nepotism, yes."

Saida gets grandfathered in. You were there from the start.

[He takes the last sip of Very Good Tea from the cup, and looks from it to Firuz.]

May I take this with me?

Saida cheeps, proud to finally benefit from nepotism.

"If you'd like. I have spares."

It's the meaning in this one I'd like to keep.

Ms. Saida, strange as what I'm asking may be -- do you have any shed feathers I might take with me? I confess I know very little about how your transformations function, so please excuse this request if it's contrary to your cultural norms.

She pops out of Firuz's shirt, shifting smoothly back to human as she does.

"No, it's fine, I have tons of feathers. Here, this one was loose..."

She runs a hand through her hair, shaking it, and pulls a loose reddish-brown feather out, holding it out for Satin.

You honour me. Truly.

[He takes it with care, setting it on the table while he uses a handkerchief to clean and dry the cup.]

A cup from the tent of a savvy merchant who's truly come into his own, leading a life that's beholden to none and able to walk any path he could choose. Still holding the scent of fine tea, and the memories of being able to choose who he interacts with, and when. Negotiation, conference, planning, business, or even the simple pleasure of working with others nearby.

And a feather from the Lunar who has been a friend and companion, someone you trust in a way I have seen you trust no other. And whose spark has not just met yours in this incarnation, but who has crossed paths with you before, and who will do so again -- incarnation after incarnation, in a span of time that will make even the longest of lifespans seem small.

Saida looks DELIGHTED by this interaction, looking back and forth between Satin and Firuz like HELLO???

Firuz looks tsuntsun flustered in the way that people who simply have no defense against people who earnestly like them do.

"You are ridiculous."

[He stage-whispers to Saida:]

For clarity, I have previously expressed to your companion that I hope to court him. While he has not accepted my suit, he has yet to outright reject it, either.

Should we ever meet fully in person, I hope also to ask for your blessing.

"OooooOOOOOOoo~ not being outright rejected is exciting! Does Sky know? Sky should know. Firuz, tell Sky so she stops trying to matchmake you."

Firuz just. Face in hands.

He hasn't had the opportunity to tell anyone. That isn't reticence -- truly it's no fault of his at all. The situation we met in has been complicated, and that complication has only increased.

From this point in time, you could say that I'm a part of his "future". One that has taken place far from Creation, in a world that plays by different rules. And in that world, both he and I lived lives that had no memories of the people we'd been. All we kept was our names, locked away secretly in our hearts.

That parallel self only recently returned to being a Solar, and even now can only access a fraction of their original strength. The same has been true for me and my true nature. We are doing what we can, but until the quest we are on comes to its end, the chances of him being able to contact anyone from your world are slim.

... and when that time comes, I can't tell you if only minutes will have passed from your perspective, or whether it will have been years.

"Hm, well... okay! He's in another realm, that's fine. It's not much different from him being in Heaven or the Underworld or in Malfeas or in the Wyld or... y'know! Whatever!"

Very much like that. He is doing well -- healthy and sheltered and well-fed, and surrounded by people very determined to see that no permanent harm comes to him.

[He stands, taking the feather and placing it within the cup.]

Speaking of which, I should be on my way. Whatever circumstance led to me being here still needs to be resolved. And I'm barely halfway through finding my way to the end of it, if that.

"Okay! Travel safely!"

"... Probably everyone left over isn't... as difficult to talk to."

If I have made even the smallest of differences here, the time will have been worth it.

[He bows, polite.]

Firuz. Ms. Saida. It has been my pleasure.

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